Why Turning 40 Is Not A Milestone Birthday For Me

Today I am 40! I’ve lived 40 years; 4 decades!

Turning 40 is technically a milestone birthday – the official gateway to middle age.

Normally, it’s pretty common that when someone has a milestone birthday like this, it is one of the times when we really want to recognize and celebrate aging.  The first year of life, then maybe when you turn 18, then into adulthood when you turn 21, and so on. Milestones. I suppose some don’t want to celebrate “getting older,” but they are opportunities to mark new life stages, right?

So, in walks COVID-19. Well, COVID-19 has not only been messing with a lot of people’s celebrations but a lot of people’s milestone celebrations on top of that.  It has created a new (virtual) reality in which celebrations are set. But you know what? I don’t feel like I’m missing out on a crazy birthday celebration for my “Big 4-0.”  This may be a surprise to you, but COVID-19 has nothing to do with it.

In my eyes, up until a couple of years ago, turning the “Big 4-0” was a milestone worth having a huge celebration for. But you see, for me it’s different.  Oh, but don’t doubt that I’m still going to have some family time with the most important people in the world.  I’ll still have cake, I’ll smile and laugh all day, I’ll get on a Zoom call with the other important people in the world that I cannot see in person, and I’ll definitely be having some of this Rosé (pictured below) that Migs gave me last week for Mother’s Day.



But for me, I’ve now realized that when I turn 41, that will be the extra, extra special one.  It is when I will be able to be physically surrounded by all the people I love and cherish.  It is when I’ll be doing something big (in the way some people would be imagining I’d want to do for my 40th). My 41st year will be the time I want to reflect at life and aging, even more than at 40 years.  You see, when my brother turned 41, it was the last birthday I celebrated with him. Because of this, I will never take time and celebrations for granted. It’s unimaginable to me to have to get older each year and continue each year remembering my brother as a 41-year-old. So anything past this age, I will hold even closer to my heart. I’m a sister without her brother. Every birthday after will be a reminder that experiences from that point forward are ones my brother won’t get to have.  I’m reminded to celebrate these moments as my brother would want me to. I’m blessed to have the privilege of growing older and growing wiser.

There is so much going on in the world, but regardless — LIFE IS GOOD. I’m protecting my peace, holding down my tribe, and ready for my next chapter 🙌🏽

As I turn 40 this year, I do I happily welcome all the “40-years-old is OLD” jokes, as this is another birthday to celebrate.  But I also will not be moaning and groaning because I don’t feel old (maybe tired, but not old!). I thank God for allowing me another year and I humbly ask for many more.

🍰🍷 So though I won’t be going wild for my 40th, have a slice of cake, cheers a drink with me, and leave your love in a comment below!


  1. Nancy Manalo-Smith
    May 17, 2020 / 5:55 PM

    Great perspective Stacy. Love you, happy birthday and many more!

    • Stacy Liz
      July 6, 2020 / 4:53 PM

      Sorry for the delay, but I appreciate you reading and commenting! Thank you and love you!

  2. Cora Escolar
    May 17, 2020 / 10:37 PM

    Love reading your blog. Happy Birthday and have a wonderful day.

    • Stacy Liz
      July 6, 2020 / 4:52 PM

      I forgot to respond to this, but I wanted to say thank you for reading and commenting. It means a lot!

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