I remember the first time I saw the “+” sign on my home pregnancy test. I was blown away. It is just like everyone says, you cannot believe it. Even if you and your partner have been trying for a baby for many months, you most likely are still initially in pure shock when you find out. My husband and I were trying, so I can’t say it was completely unexpected.
In all honesty, I knew I was pregnant before I even took the test. I don’t know how to explain it other than I was feeling a little different.
That morning I went to see my brother. I had spent the day with him and I remember thinking at some point after lunchtime or so that I needed to go home. I was anxious because something was different and I thought, “Could I be pregnant?” I needed to go home and take a pregnancy test!
My husband was at work the entire day. I arrived home and it must have been 5pm or so. He wasn’t home yet, but I immediately took the test. I set it on the bathroom counter next to the sink and walked away. I remember giving myself a little pep talk and telling myself I was really doing this and this could change my entire life from this day forward. Those three minutes felt as if they lasted forever. After the appropriate amount of time, I took a deep breath and walked over and looked. A faint plus sign. It was there, but it was so, so very faint. Did I need to get my vision checked? I was ELATED. I couldn’t stop smiling. I whispered to myself, “Oh my gosh!” and stared at the test for what must have been minutes. I must have checked that “+” sign 50 times. I was so overwhelmed with happiness (and terror). How accurate is this? I looked at the box and re-read the directions twice, maybe three times. QUESTIONS IN MY HEAD. I mean, how hard is it to urinate on a stick, right? Ha! Ok, hmm. Ahh. Really, AHH! Adrenaline filled my body. I don’t want to tell my husband yet because what if I’m wrong? I don’t want to bring him on an emotional roller coaster until I am 200% certain. I put the test back in the wrapper it came in, then in the box, and lastly shoved it back in the lowest bathroom drawer so he wouldn’t suspect anything when he got home. He wouldn’t look in there anyway!
I don’t even know how I kept it a secret for more than 24 hours. I don’t know how I didn’t tell him or anyone considering my life just changed forever. And how was I going to tell him? I went to get another pregnancy test the next day. I took it and this time the “+” sign was dark blue! Solid. I later learned that my hCG levels were increasing. I called my OBGYN and made an appointment to go in to take yet another test. I would say that’s not too bad considering I’ve heard some women buy over 10 home pregnancy tests and take them all.
I was constantly filled with so many different emotions. It was a nonstop joyride of emotional ups and downs. Everything ranging from excitement to fear. We created a life. I’ve wanted this and that’s it. No going back. Am I going to be able to handle this?
I wanted to break the best news I’ve ever had to my husband by surprising him with a gift. I had wrapped the test in a box with a yellow bow. I specifically chose yellow because we obviously didn’t know the gender. I let him get settled in when he got home from work the next day. Once I finally thought it was the right time, I took out the present and handed it to him. He asked what it was for and I told him I wanted to get him a little something for being there for me and supporting me as I was focusing a lot of attention on some other personal things in my life at the time.
He unwrapped the gift and of course had a stunned look on his face. He quickly said, “Are you serious?” and tears welled in his eyes. I had the biggest smile on my face and I’ll never forget that moment.
The really funny thing is we decided to go to sushi that night. Well, he asked where we should go and I’m the one who suggested it. It was one of our faves, and a happy time, so why not? Even though I decided I wouldn’t take any chances of eating raw fish, I settled on other options of Japanese food. What a memorable night.
From that day forward, I was super proactive learning about what pregnancy, labor, and what delivery entailed. Although I’ve learned or heard many things over the years, now as a pregnant woman I wanted to understand how labor really worked because I would now look at everything so differently. My perspective drastically shifted. I wanted to understand the different stages of labor, why a woman might need a cesarean, what happens in those first moments after the baby is born, etc. I scoured the internet to read about all sorts of experiences to prepare myself. I found a good blend of things. Some forums were just horrible, scary stories, but there were also good ones of course. It can lead you into a black hole, so be careful!
My pregnancy journey was a good one. Being pregnant was an easy and believe it or not, enjoyable experience. I really do consider myself one of the lucky ones. Aside from frequently having to urinate, I actually loved being pregnant! I didn’t have any morning sickness or any food cravings. However, every weird pain and every moment of discomfort, I was concerned.
I followed moms or soon-to-be moms during my pregnancy on Instagram or Facebook. I took my prenatal vitamins, walked, and used every kind of stretch mark prevention. I took hours of birthing and child prep classes, and read a book or two with my husband. But I knew I would still end up with not feeling prepared, no matter how much you prepare.
I did have leg cramps a few times in the middle of the night toward the end of my pregnancy. Those were the worst! I even would try different things from gulping tons of water before bed (and risked being so uncomfortable and having to get up numerous times to use the restroom) to sipping on water throughout the night. It still happened. Boo!
Overall, I loved pregnancy. I loved that I never felt alone. My world revolved around my baby from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep.
Every thought was that I just could not wait to hold and cuddle my baby. It is so true when moms say that you get a special feeling because baby would be the only one who has heard your heart beat from the inside. I would be teaching, loving, and shaping a personality. Shaping a life. I was so happy everything was changed….forever.